Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
