shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
