You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
