I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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