forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
