Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize