It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
