TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
