Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
