So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
