Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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