Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize