the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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