Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
