I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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