Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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