The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize