hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
