i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
