i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
