yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
