I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
