Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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