there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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