I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
