Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
