3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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