No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
