Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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