If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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