dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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