I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
