You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
