Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
