I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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