The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
