Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
