how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
