i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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