I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My vagina is very pro this idea
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
