Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
