At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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