i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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