are you still at the devil's house?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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