I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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