Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize