What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
