that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
