u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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