ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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