After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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