I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Green mimosas i think yes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
