got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
