are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
