yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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