dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
